OUCH!!!

L

Little Green Fish

Sealiner
This should hurt somewhere.....

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. After making love, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation...

"Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called." she says speaking in a cheery voice.

"Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. that sounds terrific...

Great!...

Thanks...

Okay...

Bye."

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

"Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

LGF
 
H

Hoosen

Senior Member
A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said,

'I bet you can't tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time'.

The wife thought for a few moments, then said,

'Your d i c k's bigger than your brother's'
 
L

Little Green Fish

Sealiner
you see, now that's another OUCH:fbash!!! us men can sometimes .....::craz:crazy1::craz reaaaaaallllyy why would you want the sad part........ He asked, No he begged^^.. for that one, and good on the wife:merm, she gave him more than carrots:dapp::dban::goodmc:sha:shark.....:D

:f1shy
 
L

Land Locked

Senior Member
-------------------------
Marriage Counseling
-------------------------

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate,
painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years
they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness,
loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of
un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the
therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to
stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your
wife needs at least three times a week Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. "Well, I can drop
her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Friday's, I fish! [/code]
 
L

Land Locked

Senior Member
Scotsman at the dentist

A Scotsman goes to the dentist and asks how much it is for an extraction.

"$85 for an extraction sir" was the dentists reply.

"Och! huv ye nay got unythin cheaper", replies the Scotsman getting agitated.

"But that's the normal charge for an extraction sir", said the dentist.

"What aboot if ye didnae use uny anaesthetic?", asked the Scotsman hopefully.

"Well it's highly unusual sir, but if that's what you want, I suppose I can do it for $70", said the dentist.

"Hmmmm, what aboot if ye used one of ye dentist trainees and still wi' oot anaesthetic", said the Scotsman.

"Well it's possible but they are only training and I can't guarantee their level of professionalism, and it'll be a lot more painful, but I suppose in that case we can bring the price down to say $40", said the dentist.

"Och that's still a bit much, how aboot if ye make it a training session and have yon student do the extraction and the other students watchin and learnin", said the Scotsman hopefully.

"Hmmmmm, well OK, it'll be good for the students I suppose, I'll charge you only $5 in that case", said the dentist.

"Wonderful, it's a deal" said the Scotsman ... "Can ye book me wife for next Tuesday?
 
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