"once upon a time , there Were 3 Bears . The south

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"once upon a time , there Were 3 Bears . The southern Cape  Okes were hungry , and ate all their porridge , and.. "

ah Bugga- wrong script .

so

This is My Long awaited report about the Sealine Bash to hole in the Wall . The whole story ..

Saturday had arrived kinda quickly . It was only "last of Last  Week" , when i Was standing in the shop buying my Last ,last ,last, 12/ Mustad Circles , that I thought : soon , soon my son , soon we'll be there ...

and in a flash- i was talking to sakkie 7116 in my driveway . His Caddie was so full of "stuff", it looked like one of those Pakistani businessman you Meet on the way from witbank to Nelspruit - he sommer uses the family veehickle  to Drop off supplies to his clients . 

I was too afraid to open the back door as I was afraid something Might Fall out .

 

We'd Packed for revenge ..

That kinda revenge you get when you been pushed into the toilet bowl for 2 weeks , and then one Day you finally get to return the favour and Firmly plant your foot On his butt and Push forwards .firmly while the Twit undoes his shorts ..........

Revenge is Sweet .

I'd Made a few calls to find out who was going , made arrangements for my rod , sold 4 cars , bought food and drinks , snacks , all while apparently working .

 these are the Things We do to Return the Favour of when the boss goes to play golf Every wednesday . Man , i Love wednesdays .

It was then that i contacted Renier , spiertier , a.k.a  " Plastic Tarzan , a.k.a Likawaan , a.k.a SWEEETS  , and asked what he was doing between the 7th ad the 14th .Fish? 

so after little deliberation , he Was in .  


Sakkie would drive from slaapstad to my spot , Herman was around the block ,and brought with him a Trailer , so we could pack in Renier's smooth hounds , shoes , 9 Cases of luggage , and my toothbrush . Man , was it a tight fit or what .

The kids Even helped to pack , by ordering us around .

From the roof .

 

 

 

 

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Apparently i Can't Pack , so i Left the girls to do it , and while herman and Sakkie plodded away Playing Tetris with the trailer ,  I Kept going through my Bait , making sure alles was daar .

 Ai yay yay .

2 Engels , styrafoam containers , bait boxes .  The aquatic version of operation hunger .

It Was a Lot of bait .

 I just hoped the fish were as hungry to feed , as what we were to play waiter to them ......

First stop . Renier spier tier's spot , before heading for another ear-waxing At Darius's place about how late we were , to fetch 2 more prizes for the Comp.

Renier has a hot sister apparently .*cough* so Naturally i climb out to help the Man  load up .

Hasty Exchange of Greetings , as i am fashionably Late as usual ( women tell me they like Men who "take their Time" - for some reason it doesn't work well with fishing buddies though ..err.. being LATE i Mean .)

 at the Last minute This oke decides " Net Nog 4 Frigates ....en...en... 2 hond-haaie " . The Car is already Loaded . his bait box , a styrafoam container the size of a bathtub , is carelessly strappped shut - and mounted on the roof of the Canopy , on top of the hilux . The site was epic . we had brought everything but dry humour and the kitchen sink !!!!!!!

Renier is well-known for ..well lets just say the Man is a good fisherman , catching More than his Fair of Fish .In the Sea, AND on dry land  !!! Lololol !!  

 "soos n hoender wat in a Konveksieoond Le ' " .. Ha ha Ha ha !! 

 

And for the guys who were there , this would be the Landmark Tears-of-laughter Line from yet another of Renier's Stories , that would both fill (and Violate!)Herman's and our Minds all week long . Side-splittingly funny stuff,and  with a Pg rating of 2- 39 ...!

He has also Landed those fish that give simon Heart-palpitations when you Mention the word GREEAAAT .... On Sealine , as well as a Few other Carpets . i beg him to take the phodies with -and at first he flatly refuses , but Meanwhile they are already lying on the bank next to the Front door , ready for collection . Hy smaak'ie aandag !!

Ou spiertjie climbs in , cracks off a Chirp ,slips his gremlins rods into the vehicle , and We're off ....

yes- He doesn't let his rods Lie In the back of the hilux- they sit Next to him .

for 2120 km .

Spiertier on sealine

 

 

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Our Weekend has begun .

 But apparently it starts a helluva lot earlier In PLETT than it does in george/mossel Bay .

Here's the Proof :

Eish ...

Not My Idea of parallel Parking .

 

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We edged our way toward Trophy's Den , and Planned to plop back a Few of our sponsor's finest before Watching the game on skottel .

Trophy drank from the right bottle , and we Drank from the Left One .

apparently Only his Real Friends got to sip and Experience the Magic from the dahhhk bottle on the Left ...

Frankly i just wanted my regular Medicine . hhmmmm ...

"wat soek jy engelsman ? dubbel of n enkel ? "" Enkels is vir hokkie velde my Maat " ...

 

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Upon Arrival , it Was discovered that renier's coffin-sized bait box , had lost it's Lid .Renier Lost his Lid too , soon after Discovering that his poor smooth hounds and Frigates mustv'e frozen their little Butts off in the Freezing wind on top of the hilux .Shame Man , I've Honestly Never seen a oke get so emotional about his bait !!

Renier immediately excused himself from our company , as the Chief Executive squeezah Vrou Had (and STILL Doesn't ) no Idea he Was coming with us , so each time he got a call in the hilux , it was Music Off ,windows up , and absolute Radio silence .

You could hear a pin drop in that bakkie when this dik boertjie spoke his best english over the phone to the wife . Priceless !! Talk about sneaking in beneath the Radar- this Man takes that statement to New heights !!

 

he also got on well with Trophie's Dog , Vin Diesel . My God this thing is like a bull in a  china Shop  , and apparently eats Any bait found Lying around in the Den . First thing to  be chowed , were the skip-jack tails  i chopped off to get em to fit in the white box ..

 

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Da boys .

You'll Notice how Calm they all are .

 

That's because Havoc hasn't showed up yet .

 

Can you Tell ??

 

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The Packing at Brett's spot Was No better than at Mine .

The bait Came in hot  Like Curry in a hurry from  ~Iram's Dehli~ as Trophy was supplying some or other buncha okes who apparently can fish , and they took pretty Much all of our bait for Gat Innnie Muur ..

I was de Muur in too when i realized that meant we didn't have any Yellowtail.

well- SOME of us didn't have any yellow tail , but that didn't apply to Brett .

 he also got in some Fabulous chicks Named  Bonnie .

 

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"Nice....." i reckon if brett closed his eyes to contemplate for a second , diesel woulda Grabbed one or both , and run ...

 

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Pizza to go .

 eish . i almost folded one up doubvle and Scoffed it alone , it Was so Nice .

 The affects of booze and alcohol on a man have been well-documented to make us drowsy , sluggish , and generally wasted .

On sakkie though - you can Double that .  It started Raining ( Surprise!!.....!! Repeat hole from last year ) and Like a bunch of girls not wanting to get our hair Wet , we locked up the hilux and drew straws who would sleep where .

 SWWEEETS took shelter in the back room and Was out like a light .

Sakkie did it all in style .........!!

 

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Even the Bonnie's were tired .

 

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Early Morning , we head to the Garrage for a Few cooldrinks , we Drag Sakkie's body Out of de Bed ,

 and hit the road . Sakkie Looks like S%^! .

 he's had a long drive though , and when brett woke us up it was like having a party in a Morgue. I don't even wrestle My chick at 3 am in the morning anymore , let alone get up to drive for a fishing trip .

eishhh...

The anticipation is electric . Brett Looks as though He's won the Lotto , and all he can think of is sliding one out for a hiding by a za.... ah forget it - that's someone elses Story .

 for Now - he's packing , and playing Taxi for Havoc .At This point in time take note of the following : he Still had his Wallet , ring , Cell-phone , camera, money , and his Feet . Unusual inventory I'm sure you'll agree - but i Mean- This is havoc we're talking about , right ?

 

 

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The Scenery is trully amazing .

And yes- I'm taking the shots from the driver's Seat .i could sense the tension in Herman's hands each time i reached down for My camera , and snapped away with the New Muk n druk - from the Driver's seat !!

 Lolololol !!

 

 

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Renier is already off to a flying start , and begins telling his Stories .

 the Man's a prison Warden .

 he works with an element of people , who have only one thing to defend themselves and and the food chain , and the favour chain - their Mouths .

 i don't Know whether they learnt to be so sharp from Renier , or whether renier learnt to be so sharp , from THEM ...

Brand New on Sealine , and already making a name for himself - and the trip hadn't Even begun yet ...it appears  we were in for a heavy Week .......... :doh::balance:

 

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East London Arrives and My @$$  is as Square as a 2 L ice Cream bakkie .

 

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We Stop at a garage .

 everybody gets out -as does Carel .

 almal se blase is vol en die maagies is Leeg .

 Pies are an unwelcome welcome sight , and i Reach for my Rennie Tablets .

a guaranteed Pairing as we all know - 1 Rennie Per Pie .Ne' ?

we climb in -and head for here :

 

 

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The Weather aint Looking good .

 i is not pleased .

 

Indutwya , Umthatha - I'm getting really tired .

We turn off onto the now-failiar stretch to coffe bay , and are Met with Modern technology - a decent ROAD !!!!!!!!!!! This'll be a CINCH man !!" i tell myself . Major improvement on LAST YEAR FOR SURE !!!

we Drive down about 7 Km , and head round a bend -

The road -lets Call it that - is a brilliant Example of what happens when third world Reality Meets first-world Dreaming ........

I cannot , no-one Can , explain to you all , what the road looks like .

ah---ok---hang on a minute- lets pretend you're in the Second world-war , and the English have opened up a Can'a whoop-ass on your lil village , bombing Everything in sight.5 Days of heavy bombing , and everything is just Rubble .

 whats left of your Main road?- we're driving on it china's .

YOH .

 

46 km takes Nearly 1H47 Minutes .That should give you some idea .

 taxi's come hurtling towards you On your side of the road - and suddenly even Sakkie is awake , from his normal position of horizontal participation .

The "Road " (pffft) aside , we manage to head down to Coffe bay . The guys are oooh'ing and ahhh'ing  and the weather seems to be holding .

seems to .

 

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we Drive through Coffe bay , and it all comes back to Me Like it was yesterday .Our trip to thatha Mouth , Mapuzi point , all flashed by in a Second .

finally i Was More relaxed , and obviously excited about the trip .Little Did i Know what nature had in store for us , Or Renier , for that matter .

The bridge between coffe bay and hole is a Monument to civil construction .

 Not that it's so pretty -

That it's Still STanding ......

 

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Down Past white Clay , and onto the Grass-green Verge , Made of grass like you'd Only see on a Man united football field .

 Irony of it all is : one Never realizes why your photo's come out so nice , everything looking so green and pretty .

 nice Ne' ??

simple logic will tell you -that's because it rains alot here , you friggin Tourist ....

oops .

finally i stop , less then 2 Meters from the Edge , and the guys Finally get to See just WHY i Dragged theirs butt's 1070 km Across the Eastern cape .

Sakkie is speechless . That's his speechless facial expression you're seeing here guys .

 

 

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Ma se kind , I'm sure we all think we Can see the fish just swimming around waiting for us to give them hook-ups .( Which is the fishing version of hiccups...... ok ok - so it's thin ... what the hell ..)

 

 

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Only Thing More beautiful than that is paris hilton bringing me a six-pack of beers at a Sharks Game in a waitress outfit .

Yes please .

And in true government Fashion "we've arrived , boooetie's , we've Arrihhved" ....