It's seems we all have a tendancy to go off subjec
- Thread starter Ryan
- Start date
I dont think any fish is dumb...but it is the small fish that curious, they are the dumb ones.
A zimbabwean guy told me that the locals there put nets in the water and catch allot of fish, but not one bass is found in those nets when they take it out...so dont think they are dumb...Im not talking about throw nets...
A zimbabwean guy told me that the locals there put nets in the water and catch allot of fish, but not one bass is found in those nets when they take it out...so dont think they are dumb...Im not talking about throw nets...
20 reasons why Fishing is better than S E X
#20 - No matter how much whiskey you've had, you can still Fish.
#19 - A limp rod is still useful while Fishing.
#18 - You don't have to hide your Fishing magazines.
#17 - It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Fish with you once in a while.
#16 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything against Fishing.
#15 - If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you Fishing you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you become famous.
#14 - Your Fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you Fished with long ago.
#13 - It's perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger.
#12 - When you see a really good Fishing person, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you Fishing together.
#11 - If your regular Fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you Fish with someone else.
#10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you Fish by yourself.
#9 - When dealing with a Fishing pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.
#8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy Fishing stuff.
#7 - You can have a Fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell Fishing jokes, and invite coworkers to Fish with you without getting sued for Fishing harassment
#6 - There are no Fishing-transmitted diseases.
#5 - If you want to watch Fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.
#4 - Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.
#3 - Nobody expects you to give up Fishing if your partner loses interest in it.
#2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.
#1 - Your Fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just Fished last week - Is Fishing all You ever think about!"
#20 - No matter how much whiskey you've had, you can still Fish.
#19 - A limp rod is still useful while Fishing.
#18 - You don't have to hide your Fishing magazines.
#17 - It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Fish with you once in a while.
#16 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything against Fishing.
#15 - If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you Fishing you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you become famous.
#14 - Your Fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you Fished with long ago.
#13 - It's perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger.
#12 - When you see a really good Fishing person, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you Fishing together.
#11 - If your regular Fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you Fish with someone else.
#10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you Fish by yourself.
#9 - When dealing with a Fishing pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.
#8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy Fishing stuff.
#7 - You can have a Fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell Fishing jokes, and invite coworkers to Fish with you without getting sued for Fishing harassment
#6 - There are no Fishing-transmitted diseases.
#5 - If you want to watch Fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.
#4 - Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.
#3 - Nobody expects you to give up Fishing if your partner loses interest in it.
#2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.
#1 - Your Fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just Fished last week - Is Fishing all You ever think about!"
Vaalboy101
New member
Bwahaha - this rings a bell. Luckily for me my better half is technically minded - she has saved a reel or too from bring tossed on the rubbish dump.
AANSOEK VIR TOESTEMMING OM MY DOGTER TE MAG UITVRA
01: Alle aansoeke moet vergesel word van:
• 5 kg (of meer) biltong.
• 12 bottels K.W.V. Roodeberg.
• 12 bottels K.W.V. 10 jaar brandewyn.
• 1 kas Heineken
• ‘n Betaalde jagsafari van 14 dae in Kenia vir 4 persone.
02: Hierdie aansoek sal as onvolledig beskou word en dienooreenkomstig afgekeur word indien enige van die volgende NIE aangeheg is nie:
• Volledige finansiële state van die afgelope drie jaar.
• Skool- en Universiteit geskiedenis (nie Technicon, Kollege of enige iets anders nie)!
• Werksgeskiedenis en rekords.
• Familiegeskiedenis van die laaste 200 jaar (Anglo-Boereoorlog hensoppers, joiners of vermyders kan net hier opgegee word).
• Afskrif van Bestuurders lisensie en Polisie rekords.
• Volledige mediese ondersoek onderteken deur ‘n goedgekeurde Dokter en Psigiater.
PERSOONLIKE INLIGTING
NAAM EN VAN: ……………………………………………………………………………………….
BYNAAM: ……………………………………... (Enige diername by bogenoemde sal tot afkeuring lei)
GEBOORTE DATUM: ……………………………………………………………..
LENGTE: ……………………………………………………………………………
GEWIG: ……………………………………………………………………………..
I.K.: ………………………………………………………………………………….
SKOOL GEMIDDELD: …………………………………………………………….
I.D. NO: ……………………………………………………………………………..
BESTUURDER LISENSIE KODE: ………………………………………………..
VOORTREKKER RANG (TANS) EN KURSUSSE VOLTOOI: ………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
HUISADRES EN TEL NO: ………………………………………………………………………………..
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
DORP OF STAD: ………………………………………………………………………………………….
KODE: ……………………………………………………..
Het jy een manlike en een vroulike ouer? ………………. Indien nee, verstrek redes: ………………….
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Aantal jare wat hulle getroud is: ………………………… Indien korter as jou ouderdom, vestrek redes:
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Besit jy:
• ‘n Kombi? ………………………...
• ‘n Ford Sierra? ……………………
• Enige ander kar met ‘n drukvin en allooiwiele wat nie standaard is nie? ……………………..
• ‘n Waterbed? ……………………..
• ‘n Bakkie met ‘n matras agterin? ……………………..
• Kondome? ………………………..
• Enige pornografie? ……………….
• Dra jy ‘n oorbel, neusring, naeltjiering, ens? …………………..
• Het jy ‘n tattoeërmerk? …………..
• Rook en suip jy? ………………….
Indien enige antwoord op enige van die bogenoemde vrae JA is – moenie voortgaan met die voltooiing van die aansoekvorm nie, (vir veiligheidsredes) en verlaat onmiddelik die perseel.
In minder as 50 woorde, wat beteken “LAAT†vir jou?
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
In minder as 50 woorde, wat beteken “MOENIE AAN MY DOGTER RAAK NIE†vir jou?
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
In minder as 50 woorde, wat verstaan jy onder “GEHEELONTHOUDING�
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
In minder as 10 woorde, wat verstaan jy onder die volgende:
KASTREER? ……………………………………………………………………………………………..
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
GENADE DOOD? ……………………………………………………………………………………….
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
In NIE MINDER as 5000 woorde verduidelik wat jy verstaan onder die woord “VRYâ€.
(Skryf dit op jou eie papier en voeg by aansoek).
Naam en adres van die kerk wat jy bywoon: ………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Hoe gereeld woon jy kerkdienste by? ……………………………………………………………………...
Wanner sal die beste tyd wees om die volgende persone te ondervra:
• Vader: ……………………………………….
• Moeder: ……………………………………..
• Predikant: ……………………………………
• Paroolbeampte: ……………………………...
• Vorige drie meisies: …………………………
Sal jou ouers hulle vrywillig aan genetiese toetsing onderwerp of sal doofpyle gebruik moet word?
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Enige besware teen die deursoeking van jou persoon, voertuig, hok, gat of enige ander blyplek?
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Voltooi die volgende sinne:
Antwoorde sal as vertroulik beskou word.
Indien ek raakgeskiet word, wil ek nie in/op my …………………………………... raakgeskiet word nie.
Indien ek geslaan word word, wil ek baie graag NIE die volgende bene gebreek hê nie: ………………..
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
‘n Vrou se plek is in die: …………………………………………………………………………………..
Die een ding wat ek hoop NIE gevra sal word in die onderhoud nie, is: ………………………………….
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Wanneer jy ‘n meisie vir die eerste keer ontmoet, wat sien jy heel eerste raak? …………………………..
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
NOTA: Indien enige liggaamsdeel genoem word wat begin met ‘n “Pâ€, “Tâ€, “D†of “Gâ€, stop dadelik en verlaat die perseel.
Terwyl jy die perseel verlaat, hardloop in S’e en hou jou kop laag!
Wat wil jy word INDIEN jy moontlik groot word? ………………………………………………………..
Wat is die huidige tariewe van 'n hotelkamer? ……………………………………………………………..
Kondome kom in pakkies van: (omkring een):
• 3
• 6
• 9
• 12
• Al die bogenoemde
Hoe weet jy dit? ……………………………………………………………………………………………
HIERMEE BELOOF EK PLEGTIG DAT AL DIE BOGENOEMDE INLIGTING KORREK EN WAAR IS.
VERKEERDE VERSKAFDE INLIGTING MAG (SAL/KAN? - JOU KEUSE!) LEI TOT DIE
DOOD, ONTMANNING, DIE VERLOOR VAN LEDEMATE, ROOIMIER-MARTELING,
KRUISIGING, ELEKTRIESE SKOK, CHINESE WATERMARTELING EN/OF ROOIWARM
YSTERTOEDIENING.
…………………………………………………………………………
NAAM EN HANDTEKENING
Dankie vir jou belangstelling.
Laat asseblief 4 tot 6 jaar toe vir prosessering.
Jy sal skriftelik in kennis gestel word indien jou aansoek aanvaar word.
Moet asseblief nie probeer om telefonies, elektronies, skriftelik, per posduif, vingertaal of deur middel van rooksiene in verbinding te tree nie.
(DIT KAN/SAL/MAG TOT ERNSTIGE BESERINGS LEI)
L.W: lndien jou aansoek afgekeur word, sal jy persoonlik in kennis gestel word deur twee here in swart pakke met wit dasse wat elk 'n viooltas dra.
01: Alle aansoeke moet vergesel word van:
• 5 kg (of meer) biltong.
• 12 bottels K.W.V. Roodeberg.
• 12 bottels K.W.V. 10 jaar brandewyn.
• 1 kas Heineken
• ‘n Betaalde jagsafari van 14 dae in Kenia vir 4 persone.
02: Hierdie aansoek sal as onvolledig beskou word en dienooreenkomstig afgekeur word indien enige van die volgende NIE aangeheg is nie:
• Volledige finansiële state van die afgelope drie jaar.
• Skool- en Universiteit geskiedenis (nie Technicon, Kollege of enige iets anders nie)!
• Werksgeskiedenis en rekords.
• Familiegeskiedenis van die laaste 200 jaar (Anglo-Boereoorlog hensoppers, joiners of vermyders kan net hier opgegee word).
• Afskrif van Bestuurders lisensie en Polisie rekords.
• Volledige mediese ondersoek onderteken deur ‘n goedgekeurde Dokter en Psigiater.
PERSOONLIKE INLIGTING
NAAM EN VAN: ……………………………………………………………………………………….
BYNAAM: ……………………………………... (Enige diername by bogenoemde sal tot afkeuring lei)
GEBOORTE DATUM: ……………………………………………………………..
LENGTE: ……………………………………………………………………………
GEWIG: ……………………………………………………………………………..
I.K.: ………………………………………………………………………………….
SKOOL GEMIDDELD: …………………………………………………………….
I.D. NO: ……………………………………………………………………………..
BESTUURDER LISENSIE KODE: ………………………………………………..
VOORTREKKER RANG (TANS) EN KURSUSSE VOLTOOI: ………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
HUISADRES EN TEL NO: ………………………………………………………………………………..
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
DORP OF STAD: ………………………………………………………………………………………….
KODE: ……………………………………………………..
Het jy een manlike en een vroulike ouer? ………………. Indien nee, verstrek redes: ………………….
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Aantal jare wat hulle getroud is: ………………………… Indien korter as jou ouderdom, vestrek redes:
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Besit jy:
• ‘n Kombi? ………………………...
• ‘n Ford Sierra? ……………………
• Enige ander kar met ‘n drukvin en allooiwiele wat nie standaard is nie? ……………………..
• ‘n Waterbed? ……………………..
• ‘n Bakkie met ‘n matras agterin? ……………………..
• Kondome? ………………………..
• Enige pornografie? ……………….
• Dra jy ‘n oorbel, neusring, naeltjiering, ens? …………………..
• Het jy ‘n tattoeërmerk? …………..
• Rook en suip jy? ………………….
Indien enige antwoord op enige van die bogenoemde vrae JA is – moenie voortgaan met die voltooiing van die aansoekvorm nie, (vir veiligheidsredes) en verlaat onmiddelik die perseel.
In minder as 50 woorde, wat beteken “LAAT†vir jou?
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
In minder as 50 woorde, wat beteken “MOENIE AAN MY DOGTER RAAK NIE†vir jou?
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
In minder as 50 woorde, wat verstaan jy onder “GEHEELONTHOUDING�
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
In minder as 10 woorde, wat verstaan jy onder die volgende:
KASTREER? ……………………………………………………………………………………………..
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
GENADE DOOD? ……………………………………………………………………………………….
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
In NIE MINDER as 5000 woorde verduidelik wat jy verstaan onder die woord “VRYâ€.
(Skryf dit op jou eie papier en voeg by aansoek).
Naam en adres van die kerk wat jy bywoon: ………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Hoe gereeld woon jy kerkdienste by? ……………………………………………………………………...
Wanner sal die beste tyd wees om die volgende persone te ondervra:
• Vader: ……………………………………….
• Moeder: ……………………………………..
• Predikant: ……………………………………
• Paroolbeampte: ……………………………...
• Vorige drie meisies: …………………………
Sal jou ouers hulle vrywillig aan genetiese toetsing onderwerp of sal doofpyle gebruik moet word?
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Enige besware teen die deursoeking van jou persoon, voertuig, hok, gat of enige ander blyplek?
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Voltooi die volgende sinne:
Antwoorde sal as vertroulik beskou word.
Indien ek raakgeskiet word, wil ek nie in/op my …………………………………... raakgeskiet word nie.
Indien ek geslaan word word, wil ek baie graag NIE die volgende bene gebreek hê nie: ………………..
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
‘n Vrou se plek is in die: …………………………………………………………………………………..
Die een ding wat ek hoop NIE gevra sal word in die onderhoud nie, is: ………………………………….
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Wanneer jy ‘n meisie vir die eerste keer ontmoet, wat sien jy heel eerste raak? …………………………..
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
NOTA: Indien enige liggaamsdeel genoem word wat begin met ‘n “Pâ€, “Tâ€, “D†of “Gâ€, stop dadelik en verlaat die perseel.
Terwyl jy die perseel verlaat, hardloop in S’e en hou jou kop laag!
Wat wil jy word INDIEN jy moontlik groot word? ………………………………………………………..
Wat is die huidige tariewe van 'n hotelkamer? ……………………………………………………………..
Kondome kom in pakkies van: (omkring een):
• 3
• 6
• 9
• 12
• Al die bogenoemde
Hoe weet jy dit? ……………………………………………………………………………………………
HIERMEE BELOOF EK PLEGTIG DAT AL DIE BOGENOEMDE INLIGTING KORREK EN WAAR IS.
VERKEERDE VERSKAFDE INLIGTING MAG (SAL/KAN? - JOU KEUSE!) LEI TOT DIE
DOOD, ONTMANNING, DIE VERLOOR VAN LEDEMATE, ROOIMIER-MARTELING,
KRUISIGING, ELEKTRIESE SKOK, CHINESE WATERMARTELING EN/OF ROOIWARM
YSTERTOEDIENING.
…………………………………………………………………………
NAAM EN HANDTEKENING
Dankie vir jou belangstelling.
Laat asseblief 4 tot 6 jaar toe vir prosessering.
Jy sal skriftelik in kennis gestel word indien jou aansoek aanvaar word.
Moet asseblief nie probeer om telefonies, elektronies, skriftelik, per posduif, vingertaal of deur middel van rooksiene in verbinding te tree nie.
(DIT KAN/SAL/MAG TOT ERNSTIGE BESERINGS LEI)
L.W: lndien jou aansoek afgekeur word, sal jy persoonlik in kennis gestel word deur twee here in swart pakke met wit dasse wat elk 'n viooltas dra.
A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.
"Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little ticked off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have milk in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so, for a week you aren't getting any milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the pussycat as he's walking into the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?
"Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little ticked off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have milk in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so, for a week you aren't getting any milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the pussycat as he's walking into the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?
A woman sitting at a restaurant in Brakpan suddenly began to cough while eating a giant country-fried steak. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals at the next table turned to look at her.
"Kan you like swallow?" asked one.
The woman signalled 'No', desperately shaking her head."
Kan you like breeve?" asked the other.
The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shook her head 'No'
With that, the first Brakpan ou walked over to her, lifted up the back of her skirt, pulled down her panties, and quickly ran his tongue up and down the woman's butt crack.
This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
The man slowly walked back over to his table and proudly took another sip of his Klipdrift & Coke.
His partner said in admiration, "Ma se m@#r, I did heard of that Hind Lick Maneuver, but I never did saw anybody done it before…"
"Kan you like swallow?" asked one.
The woman signalled 'No', desperately shaking her head."
Kan you like breeve?" asked the other.
The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shook her head 'No'
With that, the first Brakpan ou walked over to her, lifted up the back of her skirt, pulled down her panties, and quickly ran his tongue up and down the woman's butt crack.
This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
The man slowly walked back over to his table and proudly took another sip of his Klipdrift & Coke.
His partner said in admiration, "Ma se m@#r, I did heard of that Hind Lick Maneuver, but I never did saw anybody done it before…"
Een oggend na pouse toe die sub-b klas terugkeer vind die juffrou iemand het gebollie op die vloer voor die swartbord. Na 'n lang gegiggel kry sy die klas om te kalmeer en vra wie dit gedoen het. Niemand antwoord nie.
Sy vra toe vir al die kinders om op hulle arms te lê en dan maak sy ook so. Die een wat die bollie gelos het moet dan vorentoe stap, dit optel en "jammer klas" op die bord skryf. Sy belowe dat sy ook nie sal kyk wie dit is nie.
Na so 2 minutes met almal se koppe op hul arms hoor die juffrou hoe iemand se stoeltjie stadig uitskuif, voetstappe tot by die swartbord, 'n gegriffel met kryt, 'n gegriffel op die vloer, voetstappe terug en 'n stoeltjie wat terug skuif.
Met hoop maak sy haar oë oop en kyk met skok na die vloer na 'n tweede bollie en op die bord staan: "Die skim kak weer"
Sy vra toe vir al die kinders om op hulle arms te lê en dan maak sy ook so. Die een wat die bollie gelos het moet dan vorentoe stap, dit optel en "jammer klas" op die bord skryf. Sy belowe dat sy ook nie sal kyk wie dit is nie.
Na so 2 minutes met almal se koppe op hul arms hoor die juffrou hoe iemand se stoeltjie stadig uitskuif, voetstappe tot by die swartbord, 'n gegriffel met kryt, 'n gegriffel op die vloer, voetstappe terug en 'n stoeltjie wat terug skuif.
Met hoop maak sy haar oë oop en kyk met skok na die vloer na 'n tweede bollie en op die bord staan: "Die skim kak weer"