Cracker jack
New member
Does she know how to clean fish and make bait?
It's seems we all have a tendancy to go off subjec
- Thread starter Ryan
- Start date
Cracker jack
New member
Now were talking! Absolutely brilliant! But now I need to urgently get to the doctor to try and get rid of all these facial cramps I have induced to myself after straining my eyes for so long to try and read this small print. Excellent bru! 
...every now and then one comes across a maths equation that will defy any argument argument and make perfect sense...take the equation below:
Buy or Rent?
I did the math on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce.
After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million.
Assuming he banged her every night during their 5 year relationship, it ends up costing him $26,849 per lay, not counting attorney's fees and court costs.
On the other hand, Elliot Spitzer's ( Governor of New York) call girl Kristen charges $4,000 an hour. Crazy, right?
But...
Had Paul McCartney employed Kristen for 5 years, he would've paid $7.3 million for an hour of sex every night for 5 years (a savings of $41+million).
Value-added benefits are: a 22 year old hot babe, no begging, no coaxing, never a headache, wide open menu, ability to put BOTH legs around you, no bitching and complaining or "to do" lists. Best of all, she leaves when you're done, and comes back the next day, ready for another round. All at 1/7th the cost, with no legal fees.
Is it just me, or is it better to rent?
Buy or Rent?
I did the math on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce.
After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million.
Assuming he banged her every night during their 5 year relationship, it ends up costing him $26,849 per lay, not counting attorney's fees and court costs.
On the other hand, Elliot Spitzer's ( Governor of New York) call girl Kristen charges $4,000 an hour. Crazy, right?
But...
Had Paul McCartney employed Kristen for 5 years, he would've paid $7.3 million for an hour of sex every night for 5 years (a savings of $41+million).
Value-added benefits are: a 22 year old hot babe, no begging, no coaxing, never a headache, wide open menu, ability to put BOTH legs around you, no bitching and complaining or "to do" lists. Best of all, she leaves when you're done, and comes back the next day, ready for another round. All at 1/7th the cost, with no legal fees.
Is it just me, or is it better to rent?
[color=#006600]bekkerian[/color] wrote:
Man you okes from the triangle scare me - send you wives to sought out the kuk.....Huh..........
A Department of Water Resources representative Philemon stops at a Free
State farm and talks with old farmer Koos.
He tells Koos, "I need to inspect your farm for the water allocation".
Koos says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there".
Philemon says, "Meneer, I have the full authority of the Government
with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I
WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I
made myself clear? Do you understand?"
Koos nods politely and goes about his chores. Shortly, thereafter Koos
hears loud screams and spies Philemon running for his life followed
close behind by the farmer's bull, gaining with every step.
Philemon is clearly terrified, and is screaming for help, so the old
farmer throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of
his lungs.....
"Your card! Show him your card!
State farm and talks with old farmer Koos.
He tells Koos, "I need to inspect your farm for the water allocation".
Koos says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there".
Philemon says, "Meneer, I have the full authority of the Government
with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I
WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I
made myself clear? Do you understand?"
Koos nods politely and goes about his chores. Shortly, thereafter Koos
hears loud screams and spies Philemon running for his life followed
close behind by the farmer's bull, gaining with every step.
Philemon is clearly terrified, and is screaming for help, so the old
farmer throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of
his lungs.....
"Your card! Show him your card!
[align=center]some questions to make you think...[/align]
[align=center]Can you cry under water ?[/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why does a round pizza come in a square box ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]What disease did cured ham actually have ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs ! [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why did you just try singing the two songs above ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window ? [/align]
[align=center]Can you cry under water ?[/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why does a round pizza come in a square box ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]What disease did cured ham actually have ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs ! [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why did you just try singing the two songs above ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass ? [/align]
[align=center]
[/align]
[align=center]Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window ? [/align]
