How to manage the "call of nature"

R

raltern

New member
Hi

The intention of this is not to be funny or silly or dirty etc, its a real issue. Exercise seems to get my bowls moving, If I go for a run I have planned "bail out" spots incase things go really wrong but when in a john and jacket, in the drink with a long way to swim there are not many options.

I have tried them all and none are fun. I'm just shore diving most days and always try sort out before I dive as prevention is better than cure, "maar nou ja"

What do other guys do? I thought of getting a tail flap type setup made in my suit and think thats the way I'm going to go if no one has a better idea. I wouldnt consider taking constipation pills or anything crazy like that..

Nice topic for a Monday morning I know, but its fresh in my mind.

cheers

Ryan

 
 
C

Chris Shelton

Sealiner
Best thing is to eat or drink something that gets the constitution going at home and to kak en kak klaar by die huis! I'm fortunate in that my first cup of coffee of the day produces the desired chemistry to set things in motion and when I'm done, I'm done for the day!
 
L

landshark

Senior Member
The art of mastering the aquaturd is a difficult one and requires years of practice.

It depends on a couple of factors – such as your wetsuit and water temp. For example if you are diving on the West Coast stripping mid water will only lead to a bad case of piles as your nought won’t be able to function correctly when exposed to 10 deg water.

Also, if you are using a farmer john wetzoot then the action becomes a whole lot more difficult as you will essentially have to get out of the whole thing whist hanging on to your spear gun and keeping your sensitive bits away from the sharkshield – a lot to keep track of while aiming your butt down current...

So best advice is when nature calls swim back shore look for a good spot to squat, kick back and relax...
 
S

Splasher

Sealiner
That remind me of a story. One day I was spearfishng about 800m out. A serious #2 called and I made my swim back to shore. I had to crawl out due to the tummy cramps. I stripped out of my open cell suite to which I was nude underneath and made a run up the beach to the bushes, throwing my equipment under some shrubs. I settled down to do my business and just then a group of german bird watchers ,on their bird trail, stopped a few meter from me to admire a bird with there zoom lense cameras. I had to knyp and leopard crawel away. Eish!
 
R

raltern

New member
haha, I thought this subject might go this way..

While I've gathered a few such stories myself, I'm now over entertaining my friends and just want a "stress free" dive.. So looks like i'll be chopping a crapflap in my suit, use zips, velcro and open cell seals to keep my naught toasty when not in use.

wish me luck 
 
E

Eckart

Senior Member
you need to make stronger coffee!!! your spoon needs to stand upright in it... then you know you have the right consistancy then just hook it into the intravenous drip and let her rip!
 
L

landshark

Senior Member
Alternatively you could always try adult nappies... this could still end up in a messy business but at least your suit will stay intact and you won’t have to worry about applying haemorrhoid cream or muscle relaxant after a very cold dive...

... just remember to add an extra weight to your belt as the nappy may make you more buoyant
 
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