FLOAT TUBE COMPETITION

S

Scrat

Senior Member
Johanvc, I work for ABSA Business and Corporate Bank. I report to ABSA directly now but still get paid by GijimaAST's HR department...
 
R

Ryan

Sealiner
Could not resist

This is what technicians in Absa IT face everyday:




This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you skip any, you have to read the last one! Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!

                                                                                         =================================

                                                                                 Tech support:What kind of computer do you have?

[align=center]Female customer:A white one... [/align]
[align=center]=============== [/align]
[align=center]Customer:Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out. [/align]
[align=center]Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? [/align]
[align=center]Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. [/align]
[align=center]Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. [/align]
[align=center]Customer: No,wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry.... [/align]
[align=center]=============== [/align]
[align=center]Tech support:Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. [/align]
[align=center]Customer: Your left or my left? [/align]
[align=center]=============== [/align]
[align=center]Tech support:Good day. How may I help you? [/align]
[align=center]Male customer: Hello... I can't print. [/align]
[align=center]Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... [/align]
[align=center]Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates. [/align]
[align=center]=============== [/align]
[align=center]Customer:Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... [/align]
[align=center]============= = [/align]
[align=center]Customer: I have problems printing in red... [/align]
[align=center]Tech support: Do you have a color printer? [/align]
[align=center]Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. [/align]
[align=center]=============== [/align]
[align=center]Tech support:What's on your monitor now, ma'am? [/align]
[align=center]Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies. [/align]
[align=center]=============== [/align]
[align=center]Customer:My keyboard is not working anymore. [/align]
[align=center]Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? [/align]
[align=center]Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. [/align]
[align=center]Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. [/align]
[align=center]Customer:! OK [/align]
[align=center]Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? [/align]
[align=center]Customer: Yes [/align]
[align=center]Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? [/align]
[align=center]Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work... [/align]
[align=center]=============== [/align]
[align=center]Tech support:Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7. [/align]
[align=center]Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ? [/align]
[align=center]= ============= [/align]
[align=center]Customer:can't get on the Internet. [/align]
[align=center]Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? [/align]
[align=center]Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. [/align]
[align=center]Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? [/align]
[align=center]Customer: Five stars.. [/align]
[align=center]=============== [/align]
[align=center]Tech support:What anti-virus program do you use? [/align]
[align=center]Customer: Netscape. [/align]
[align=center]Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. [/align]
[align=center]Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. [/align]
[align=center]=============== [/align]
[align=center]Customer:I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. [/align]
[align=center]=============== [/align]
[align=center]Tech support:How may I help you? [/align]
[align=center]Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. [/align]
[align=center]Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? [/align]
[align=center]Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? [/align]
[align=center]=============== [/align]
[align=center]A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. [/align]
[align=center]Tech support: Are you running it under windows? [/align]
[align=center]Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine." [/align]
[align=center]============== [/align]
[align=center]And last but not least... [/align]
[align=center]Tech support:"Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." [/align]
[align=center]Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!![/align]
 
 
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