Grandad and the South African Revenue Services

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Grandad and the South African Revenue Services
The SARS decides to audit Grandad, and summons him to their office.

The auditor was not surprised when Grandad showed up with his lawyer.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I'm not sure the SARS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandad. 'How about a
demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandad says, 'I'll bet you a thousand rand that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand rand that I can bite my other
eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandad isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandad removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with
Grandad's lawyer as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandad asks 'I'll bet you six thousand
rand that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he
agrees again.

Grandad stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the
other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss
into a huge win.

But Grandad's own lawyer moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the lawyer. 'This morning, when Grandad told me he'd
been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand rand that he
could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy
about it!'

Don't Mess with Old People!
 
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